If you write for no reason...

My semi-unofficial motto when it comes to writing is: “If you write for no reason, you have no reason to write.” Of course, there are a couple of ways to take this phrase, which is part of the appeal it has for me. Ambiguity is awesome for writers, especially of the philosophical type, because it makes what we pull out of our shorts seem pithy and wise. And if it doesn’t? Well, we obviously meant it the other way.

Ambiguity…makes what we pull out of our shorts seem pithy.

In any case, “If you write for no reason, you have no reason to write” can first be taken as a simple maxim: one should always have a purpose for writing. And this I wholeheartedly agree with. The problem isn’t having a purpose, though. It’s having a useful purpose. A purpose that justifies writing in the first place.

Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you what purpose you should have when you write. It’s not my business. Obviously any purpose you have that fundamentally disagrees with purposes I have must mean your purposes suck, but you’re the one who has to live with that, not me. If it turns out that you want to write so you can have extra money to supersize your combo meal, what’s that to me? I’m writing to cure cancer-AIDS, but you go ahead with your silly little notions of purpose. I don’t mind.

But perhaps you don’t really have a purpose in mind when you write. In that case, don’t fret. See, what “If you write for no reason, you have no reason to write” really means is that if you write with the intention of having no reason for writing, then you have accomplished that goal. So clearly you are already a winner. My hats off to you.

Seriously. Hats off, bro.

Incidentally, you may be wondering what reason or purpose I have for writing this article. I suppose that it could be summed up with a single word. But since I intend to get paid by volume rather than weight, allow me to give you the following sentence instead: This article exists for the sole purpose of entertaining you.

Yup, that’s it. Of course, the irony is that I’m filing it under “Writing Tips.” Then again, if you give me 15%, that fits too.