Biography

Peter's Biography

At some point in the late 20th Century, modern civilization began. This was probably due to Peter Pike being born in Fairbanks, Alaska. And while modern civilization was unaware that it had been birthed at the same time, it soon followed after the industrious toddler.

When he was two years old, Pike single-handedly defeated Anchorage in an epic duel of rock-paper-scissors, the net result of which was the banishment of the Pike family from the state of Alaska. They moved to Colorado, where he has remained ever since plotting his revenge and willing modern civilization to get on with making flying cars a reality.

The earliest known pictures of Pike include him looking at books. These books were primarily held upside-down, because while it is quite obvious that Pike is a genius, he wasn't born knowing how to read. Nonetheless, he knew the importance of books, which he kept at his side through thick and thin. Or at least until he picked up a video game controller.

As soon as he could read properly, Pike (along with his siblings) began a ruthless conquest of all the local library summer reading contests, a winning rampage that continued through his high school years (generally perceived as the less-sucky part of the 1990s). It was during this time that Pike began to write in earnest. (Earnest was not too pleased, as one might expect, to discover that Peter enjoys horrific puns.)

After trying to pass off a few completed manuscripts to publishers, who politely dumped them in the nearest recycle bin, Pike decided that for all his genius he still needed practice. So he spent the next fifteen years writing in all sorts of capacities. This included publishing more than a million words in his personal blog, writing up user manuals and technical support features for the company he worked for, later writing the fake text for sample websites that had to look realistic, and even writing his own biography in the third person.

Peter Pike currently resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado, in the footprint of Pikes Peak, a mountain upon which his footprints also reside. Pike lives with three cats (plus the neighbor's cat that sometimes sneaks in through the dog door), so if you're not interested in purchasing any of his books, buy him a beer or ten out of sympathy instead.

It's the honorable thing to do.